Waiting...

There are so many things that I have running through my mind right now as we wait for our little one to arrive.

One of the things that I realized is that I started out with the best of intentions to write/journal about my pregnancy, but sadly I really slacked on that. I am truly sad and disappointed in myself because I did the exact same with Olivia, but tried to rationalize it by telling myself that at the time I was working full time, had a 1 1/2 hr commute each way and that well I just didn't have the time.

But what is my "excuse" this time? I cannot say, but the reality is that I am working part-time and on the days that I am home I try to spend them doing fun/educational activities with Olivia, and I have a home to keep clean and organized. {Not an easy thing w/a 3 yr old! LOL} After crying and feeling like I truly had failed myself and Tyler I made myself a deal that I will sit down these next couple of days and will write down everything that I can remember...every emotion, every special moment.

I am trying hard to be like my hubby and live in the present, not regret my decisions in the past and certainly not over extend myself for the future. I cannot change anything and most certainly cannot anticipate all the unexpected things that will surely come. Now that being said, I am not going to lie to myself or anyone else and say that is easy. I am a worry wort!!! LOL

I just really want take his advice and apply it to my daily life...its a lesson that I need to really LEARN and APPLY, otherwise I will only continue to drive myself crazy.

The second "light bulb" to go off was how quickly this pregnancy really went. I feel like it was just yesterday that I found out we we were pregnant and now here we are at the brink of having our second child. There were lots of tough days this time, but nothing could ever take the joy that we feel at our blessing. I loved every minute of my pregnancy and truly treasure all of the special moments that Tyler and I have shared.

Is there any thing more precious than the first time you feel your baby move? I loved every flutter, bounce, kick, punch....and will be so sad when its all over. Its those special moments that only he and I share, the little pat on his butt when he jumps from one side to the other, or the foot sticking out of my ribs. {{{LOL}}} I LOVE IT!

And the third...well its that I am going to stop wishing or rushing him to come. I am going to just sit and patiently wait for him to decide he is truly ready. Obviously he does not feel like the time is right and keeps on proving the doctors wrong. They said he would have been here last Sunday or Monday, and well today is already Thursday {almost Friday}. I think that he is waiting for his grandma, he knows his mommy wants her and needs her and since she won't be back until Saturday he decided to wait.

In the mean time I am going to enjoy every last hour/minute/second that I have with my precious little girl. I am going to spoil her and let her eat up all my time in any way that she wants. We will spend ours on the swings, going down the slide, jumping on the trampoline and well just plain being silly.


We all love you Tyler Owen and cannot wait to meet you my sweet baby!