Determination

 

I finally was able to reach deep inside of me within the last few weeks and i found it…………

Determination:  the act of deciding definitely and firmly ; also : the result of such an act of decision b: firm or fixed intention to achieve a desired end <a woman of great courage and determination

I have definitely and firmly made a decision to finally do all the things I have been meaning to do the last year!

1. Let my creative side out and paint that “beautiful” white tree in Tyler room.  I am no longer going to stop myself by thinking that it will not come out beautiful or that I will hate  it.  It is just paint and it can be erased or even better I can leave it and actually be proud of myself for trying.
2. I am going to re-vamp Olivia’s room and yep you guessed it, finally paint the “O” Monogram that I designed in my “idea book” 2 years ago.
3. I am going to get my scrap supplies out and finally “SCRAP” pages of my kids, instead of just collecting pretty paper and embellishments.  I am not going to care whether or not it looks perfect, because the truth is my kids will appreciate the memories behind it, not how beautiful the page looks.
4. I am going to loose my “baby weight”.  It upsets me that it took something so “juvenile” to actually motivate me.  I should have done it earlier because I know it will make me feel healthier and happier. 
5. I am making myself a promise that I am not going to get “skinny” obsessed like I was prior to having children.  My body has changed and I accept that….and certainly would not change the fact that I have two beautiful and amazing children for that size “0”. 
6. I am going to stop rolling my eyes or making funny faces at my husband when he tells me I am beautiful, because it upsets him that I cannot accept myself the way he sees me.
7. I am going to make time to myself at least once a week.  I need to re-energize and bring back the “old” Ana. 
8. Happiness is not something that comes easily and I need to make sure that we all reach for it each and everyday.
9. I am going to stop and enjoy the little things … life is not like “TIVO” and I cannot rewind and replay the smiles, kisses, hugs and even tears that are shed today, tomorrow!
10. I am finally going to do something that I have always wanted, but have not done because I was afraid that my mom would be upset and disappointed or that “people” will look at me differently!   After 13 years of putting it off, I am going to get my tattoo!